Feb 25, 2015

If She Stay

Dear Gayle Forman,

I read your book, before i lost her. And to be honest, I cried when I read it.

In her last day, when me and my friends talked in the cafeteria, I can feel her there. It's like Mia who can walking everywhere in the hospital, I also can feel her there, watching us talking and laughing. I can feel her there,  whereas I know she was with oxygen hose and heart monitor in her chest. I know she can go anywhere, but I do believe she with us, listening us and care for us.

Her name is Defrina Nopi Pasaribu. I love her, I miss her. I know what I was asking to God before I see her. I said, if God want to take her, give me a chance to see her for the last time. Yes, I did meet her. But, I can't talk to her, I can't hug her, I can't kiss her.

Gayle, how you can made a story as sad as this?
And why I must experienced this?

I know, you sell love story. My Ina also had a love story, but i will not talking about it. I like Mia and Adam, I love this love story. But when I watched this movie, I cried because of her.

Mia not Ina, but that moment when Mia at hospital, all I can remember was Ina and her sick. I know, when she died, her face was so big. But I don't want to remember that moon face, all I always remember about her is her smile.

I remember her ever talked to her mom, how she missed Thursday. She told her, why Thursday is still long to wait. I think God has made a decision for her, or she just chose to give up and go.

But, I know that was God's way. 

Dear Ina,

If you stay, I think this year you gonna married that man.
If you stay, I will not miss you this bad
If you stay, you will keep still sick. I know that. The idea about your illness, that what make me easier to let you go.

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